Today was our little angle girl Vicky's birthday. She would have been 3 today. This time three years ago I was holding her in my arms. How thankful I am to know I will be able to hold her again one day.
This is taken from my journal:
"Vicky JoAnn Kauer was born at 8:15pm on Monday April 14, 2008. The cord was tightly wrapped around her neck which is what caused her death. They cleaned her up a bit and wrapped her in a warm blanket and placed her in my arms. She was absolutely beautiful. I held her close and just let the tears flow. I let my Mom and Angie hold her and then they gave her back to me. She had beautiful long fingers and huge feet like her older brother Dustin had. She looks a lot like Jaden and my niece Kennedy. As I sat there and held her the room was so quiet just us four girls. I said to my Mom and Angie that it felt like we were in the celestial room at the temple. That room was filled with the spirit and we were truly not alone."
....."The spirit has been with me through this whole experience. I have truly felt surrounded by my Saviors love. It has been so hard to loose her as we were so looking forward to another baby and our first girl. The Lord has prepared us for this in his own way for along time. ..... My testimony has been strengthened and I feel so close to my family and my Heavenly Father. I know that I will be with her again and be able to raise her. I long for the day I can hold her in my arms again. At times I still feel her with me and I hope that is something that will happen often. She is constantly on my mind and I know I will still have hard times probably forever. The knowledge that she is mine forever is what helps and makes me feel better. I am so thankful for my faith and how it has helped me through this. I know my Savior loves me and must think I am a strong person to give me this challenge. It has truly made me stronger and continues to do so. I am so thankful that my Mom and Angie were there with me at the birth to share in that experience. That spirit touched us so much and made us all even closer. The love I have for them can’t even be described. I am so unbelievably blessed."
Me, Dustin and Vicky's hands
Our perfect little girl!

This morning I opened the package Dustin sent a few weeks ago. It had this beautiful necklace in it. It has a Mom and Dad surrounded by 4 children. I love it and wore it all day today. Thank you honey you are the best!!! I even got to talk to Dustin for a whole hour today. I was so nice to really talk with him and discuss things that have been happening and bounce ideas off of him like I always do. I really love that and sooo miss it when he is gone.
Tonight we even had cake to celebrate her birthday. The kids blew out her candles and we really enjoyed the cake. I made a special cake that little Dustin could eat as well with no wheat and milk! It was yummy. And yes Daddy, Joe ate an extra piece for you....well we all did!

Joe had his first soccer game of the season. He scored one goal and was so excited. It was cold and rainy as always but we survived. After soccer we had mutual and I helped the girls learn how to make bread from scratch by hand. I have my loaf in the oven now and it will be done in a few minutes...warm bread YUMMY!

All in all this day was great. I am so thankful to my many friends and family who remembered me and little Vicky on this day. It really warms my heart to know so many of you remember and care enough to tell me! How thankful I am for all my many blessing my heart is full tonight!